Back to School Blues

There is something special about the night before school starts. Do you know what I am talking about? Lump in your stomach {'cause you are a little nervous} but still really excited {like you are going to Disneyland the next day}. I was just at dinner with all of my nieces and nephews who are going back to school. All of the them were full of excitement and wonder and anticipation for the coming year. All had their first day outfit already laid out and ready to put on. I remember every year {even up to when I was a senior in high school} it would take me a little extra time to fall asleep that Sunday night in anticipation for what the following day would bring.

For the first time in 20 years I am not going back to school -whether as a student or a teacher. This has been a day I have been thinking about ever since I got pregnant. It is 11:03 pm. I should be laying in bed, tossing and turning, thinking about the group of 11 and 12 year-olds that I will spend the next 180 days with. I should be wondering if I have everything ready in my classroom. I should have my back-to-school outfit laid out. Instead, all the teaching supplies I own are sitting in my living room. Instead, I just got done giving Mason his last feeding. Instead of worrying about adolescents I am wondering if my infant is going to let me sleep until 7 am. Instead, tomorrow is just another day of full of laundry and dirty bottles, and working smiles out of my boy. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade that little guy across the hall for anything, but that doesn't mean I won't shed a tear {or two} because I am no longer part of something I have spent my whole life doing -going back to school.

So, to all those out there going back to school tomorrow {students and teachers}: Good luck, enjoy the year!